Of Missed Opportunities

I had my suspicions. The way you looked at me sometimes. The things you said and did...like you just wanted to sweep me off my feet. I thought I was just imagining things. There was no way!

 I always felt this tension when I told her I was going to hang out with you...but I thought that was in my mind as well.

I think I could have easily fallen, but I didn't let myself. We like the same things...you make me laugh...you're smart...you're sensitive...I can be my awkward self around you. I didn't want to make things weird though. I thought I would just be disappointed, and I definitely didn't need more heartbreak in my life. I would tell myself to stop dreaming every time I caught myself hoping.

When I read what you wrote, for a small moment I had this fleeting hope that you were talking to me. But then I thought, "No. No, someone else of course. Don't be ridiculous." But now I wonder if I was right all along. If maybe you were afraid of making things weird too...and well, it is true it would have been slightly pointless at the time.

It might be too late now. I might have gotten this all wrong...I'm just going off of what others have told me...but if sometime in the future we ever get a chance...past Melissa is telling you to just go for it.